Valentine's Day is around the corner (as we're all well aware) and for those looking for love, this time can be especially bothersome. Certified Matchmaker Natacha Noël, founder of Absolute Bachelor Club, gives some tips on finding the right partner (and how to land a second date).
SDTC: What makes up a high-quality man?
According to my clients, the facets that would make a high-quality man are actually slightly different than how I would evaluate the value of the partner.
If we peeked into my female client files and compared their character trait list, we would find that a high-quality man possesses most of the following qualities: honesty, loyalty, integrity, success, generosity, is financially secure, open-minded, family-oriented, a good listener and has a great sense of humour.
If you ask me, what makes a good partner has to do with compatibility to your own value system and lifestyle; the amazing individual who has it all but is not emotionally available to you is precisely the one you should avoid. Concentrate your energy in the pursuit of a man who is as passionate about building something with you as you are with them. Compatibility can actually be measured and is as magical as hot sex when you know what to look for and finally find it!
What do men want in a partner?
Men seek: An attractive woman, femininity, youth, confidence, sexual compatibility, structure, peace, outgoingness, support, understanding, an easygoing personality, a woman who is drama-free. In the beginning stages of dating, men are more likely to put up with a woman who is not perfectly compatible if they are motivated by her beauty and personality. They'll compromise for that woman. Men want to be in love, don't want to die alone and want to create memories with a special someone. Men want what women want.
What do women want in a partner?
Ultimately, women want to know they can trust their partner. In the beginning stages (first few dates) they want to be swept up; they seek that leadership energy. They also really want to look up to the man and most will prefer that he has more financial or professional success than them. As the relationship progresses, they want someone whose values will be completely aligned with theirs. Women also want a man who understands their needs in the bedroom.
How can I ensure that my date has the qualities I'm looking for?
How to test: Establish the list of most important values you seek in a partner. Following that, identify two actions that would demonstrate that value. Try limiting your list to three values. Lastly, observe your partner in various situations and confidently smile when he passes your values aligned test or move on quickly after observing a fail.
Here is an example: Value #1: Integrity: Action 1: He calls me when he says he will. Action 2. He keeps his promises. Value #2: He is family oriented. Action 1. He attends family gatherings and enjoys it. Action 2: He attends his children's sporting activities. People also need to realize that no one is perfect and need to ask themselves the question: Am I being those values now? If not, why would you expect this or hold them to those precise values?
What should more of us work on in order to be our best selves in a relationship?
It is important to let go of the past. An example of this is to have self-compassion and to forgive others for the wrong they may have done to us. I also believe in learning to say no and making time for your own happiness by having your own projects.
I can't seem to develop a connection with anyone past the first date. What approach should I take?
Connecting with a man can't happen with everyone you meet. If it was easy, we'd find soulmates at every corner. This being said, if it isn't happening, a few minor tweaks on your approach can make a huge difference in your dating success. Here are 5 tips on how to land a second date.
- Leave your Miss Independent hat at home. Do casually hint during conversations that you have a fulfilled life with work, friends, family and passions or activities but don't start enumerating your work overload, your busy networking schedule, your hectic child's sports activities and family obligations. The impression you don't want to leave is that you don't have time for a relationship. Most of my clients don't want to compete with your schedule. You must at least sound available to get the second date.
- Don't have sex too soon. Men enjoy the hunt. If you take that part of the courtship away from him, he may be moving on to the next woman.
- Take your pity mask off. Men have a very sensitive detector for desperation. Status demands, request for marriage and children or a goofy question about a man's appreciation for your physical appearance may signify the end of the road.
- Authenticity vs. Superficiality. Powerful women do not need to boast about their success or their earnings. A common self-sabotage behaviour is flaunting money, travel, ex boyfriends' or ex husbands' success and thinking that your success scares men away. Men have confidence as a vied character trait in a woman. Your amazingness will not scare him away; it's the shell you hide under that will.
- Men are visual creatures. You've got to put your best foot forward. This means you need to look feminine and be feminine in energy. On the outside, be well manicured, think of what you're wearing, buy a first date dress, wear some makeup. On the inside, smile a lot and be fun. Don't lead every conversation or try to drive all decisions. Use your magnetic feminine energy to draw him to you.
Natacha Noël is a Certified Matchmaker, Relationship Coach and the founder of Absolute Bachelor Club, a boutique matchmaking agency for professionals and public figures.
The post Certified Matchmaker Natacha Noël On Finding (And Keeping) The Right Love For You appeared first on Shedoesthecity.
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Valentine's Day is around the corner (as we're all well aware) and for those looking for love, this time can be especially bothersome. Certified Matchmaker Natacha Noël, founder of Absolute Bachelor Club, gives some tips on finding the right partner (and how to land a second date).
SDTC: What makes up a high-quality man?
According to my clients, the facets that would make a high-quality man are actually slightly different than how I would evaluate the value of the partner.
If we peeked into my female client files and compared their character trait list, we would find that a high-quality man possesses most of the following qualities: honesty, loyalty, integrity, success, generosity, is financially secure, open-minded, family-oriented, a good listener and has a great sense of humour.
If you ask me, what makes a good partner has to do with compatibility to your own value system and lifestyle; the amazing individual who has it all but is not emotionally available to you is precisely the one you should avoid. Concentrate your energy in the pursuit of a man who is as passionate about building something with you as you are with them. Compatibility can actually be measured and is as magical as hot sex when you know what to look for and finally find it!
What do men want in a partner?
Men seek: An attractive woman, femininity, youth, confidence, sexual compatibility, structure, peace, outgoingness, support, understanding, an easygoing personality, a woman who is drama-free. In the beginning stages of dating, men are more likely to put up with a woman who is not perfectly compatible if they are motivated by her beauty and personality. They'll compromise for that woman. Men want to be in love, don't want to die alone and want to create memories with a special someone. Men want what women want.
What do women want in a partner?
Ultimately, women want to know they can trust their partner. In the beginning stages (first few dates) they want to be swept up; they seek that leadership energy. They also really want to look up to the man and most will prefer that he has more financial or professional success than them. As the relationship progresses, they want someone whose values will be completely aligned with theirs. Women also want a man who understands their needs in the bedroom.
How can I ensure that my date has the qualities I'm looking for?
How to test: Establish the list of most important values you seek in a partner. Following that, identify two actions that would demonstrate that value. Try limiting your list to three values. Lastly, observe your partner in various situations and confidently smile when he passes your values aligned test or move on quickly after observing a fail.
Here is an example: Value #1: Integrity: Action 1: He calls me when he says he will. Action 2. He keeps his promises. Value #2: He is family oriented. Action 1. He attends family gatherings and enjoys it. Action 2: He attends his children's sporting activities. People also need to realize that no one is perfect and need to ask themselves the question: Am I being those values now? If not, why would you expect this or hold them to those precise values?
What should more of us work on in order to be our best selves in a relationship?
It is important to let go of the past. An example of this is to have self-compassion and to forgive others for the wrong they may have done to us. I also believe in learning to say no and making time for your own happiness by having your own projects.
I can't seem to develop a connection with anyone past the first date. What approach should I take?
Connecting with a man can't happen with everyone you meet. If it was easy, we'd find soulmates at every corner. This being said, if it isn't happening, a few minor tweaks on your approach can make a huge difference in your dating success. Here are 5 tips on how to land a second date.
- Leave your Miss Independent hat at home. Do casually hint during conversations that you have a fulfilled life with work, friends, family and passions or activities but don't start enumerating your work overload, your busy networking schedule, your hectic child's sports activities and family obligations. The impression you don't want to leave is that you don't have time for a relationship. Most of my clients don't want to compete with your schedule. You must at least sound available to get the second date.
- Don't have sex too soon. Men enjoy the hunt. If you take that part of the courtship away from him, he may be moving on to the next woman.
- Take your pity mask off. Men have a very sensitive detector for desperation. Status demands, request for marriage and children or a goofy question about a man's appreciation for your physical appearance may signify the end of the road.
- Authenticity vs. Superficiality. Powerful women do not need to boast about their success or their earnings. A common self-sabotage behaviour is flaunting money, travel, ex boyfriends' or ex husbands' success and thinking that your success scares men away. Men have confidence as a vied character trait in a woman. Your amazingness will not scare him away; it's the shell you hide under that will.
- Men are visual creatures. You've got to put your best foot forward. This means you need to look feminine and be feminine in energy. On the outside, be well manicured, think of what you're wearing, buy a first date dress, wear some makeup. On the inside, smile a lot and be fun. Don't lead every conversation or try to drive all decisions. Use your magnetic feminine energy to draw him to you.
Natacha Noël is a Certified Matchmaker, Relationship Coach and the founder of Absolute Bachelor Club, a boutique matchmaking agency for professionals and public figures.
The post Certified Matchmaker Natacha Noël On Finding (And Keeping) The Right Love For You appeared first on Shedoesthecity.